Category: Blog

Most people do not understand what a School Counselor really does; or at least operate with a gross underestimation of what they do.  They think a School Counselor’s job is similar to a therapists’, managing one client after another in a calm, serene setting.  However, to be honest, a School Counselor’s day looks more like a bees nest; many conflicting priorities, lots of needs, a myriad of people tugging on them, and little time to get things done.

In the midst of so many demands on their time, you as a School Counselor have to prioritize activity so you can be as effective as possible.  So what is your number one priority as a School Counselor?  The answer might surprise you because it is foreign to so many Counselors.  Your top priority must be YOU.  Why is this so foreign to Counselors?  Because, like you, they have committed their whole lives to helping OTHERS and feel somewhat “selfish” helping themselves.  However, if you do not take care of yourself, you will lose your effectiveness and will be worthless to others (students, families, teachers and administration).

Over the years, I have learned there are a couple of practical things you can do to keep your focus and energy as a School Counselor:

1) Get out of the school, mentally and physically.  Having a hobby you enjoy that calms your mind and spirit is essential.  Whether it is hiking, sewing, reading, or spending time with those you love…make this a priority.  If you find your mind constantly wrapped up in your Counseling efforts and you are putting in longer days than necessary, you probably need to reorganize your priorities.

2) Plan when you can.  When you plan your day, you are less reactive and can prioritize those activities you believe will have the greatest effect.  While I understand there will always be times  you will have to react, you will be amazed that when you make lists, use a calendar, and close your door sometimes; you can actually see progress.

3) Make your office a sanctuary.  What little time you get to spend in your office should energize you, not aid in the depletion of your energy.  Replace the bright bulbs and lamps with softer lighting.  Have calm music playing in the background and use essential oils to permeate your environment.  Not only you will be energized, but those who come into your office will be less stressed and in a better mind to communicate.  My office has become a place where even teachers can take a time out to gather themselves and refocus their energy.

4) Have a “someone” of your own.  Everyone needs a “someone” in their life to talk to; to get advice, to fill their bucket, to toss ideas to,  to speak truth, or to get re-energized.  Do you have someone like that? That person could be a mentor, a friend or a loved one. It must be someone that cares about you first as an individual, then as a School Counselor.

These are just a few ways you can take care of your top priority: YOU.  Everyone is different and your recipe for self-care may be different from mine.  However, just like in a counseling session, you must begin to take steps in the right direction.  Don’t allow the hectic schedule and demands on your time sacrifice the very thing that will help you be most effective.

In Colorado, Fall is the prettiest time of year.  The crisp cool air replaces the remnants of a dry, arid summer.  Sweaters, long pants and scarfs are welcome companions after a blistering summer.  And, of course, the green dry mountainside is transformed into a beautiful array of colors as Aspens, Maples, and Pine trees dance in harmony throughout the region. Yet, if you ask my grown kids what they remember most of Fall you would not hear of colors changing, scarfs or even the cool air.  You will get a resounding answer…Happy Apple Farm.  This heavenly orchard is nestled in the hot region around Pueblo Colorado.  At first glance one might wonder how the seemingly barren ground could produce anything. However, it doesn’t take long before the skeptic becomes the greatest unquestioning devotee.

I have been taking my kids to the Happy Apple Farm for over 17 years.  The owner, Tony Ferrara, is a gregarious and hospitable gentleman that loves only one thing more than people…his farm.  He greets each and every visitor with a smile and a hint as to where the picking is best. With Tony, no one is a stranger.  Within a few hours my kids would have picked their choice pumpkin and a host of apples, raspberries, blackberries and whatever else Tony had for us.  Then, to top it all off, we could enjoy a Turkey leg, hot dog or some fried chilis straight from the grill.  What an event it was for my family each and every year.  I know the power of such a good experience will NEVER leave my kids and realize it will be part of their existence as long as they live.

Events have such power over our lives that sometimes we do not even realize it. But what of bad events?  Can they have the same “staying” power as good ones?

This past blog I wrote about the Waldo Canyon Fire that devastated the mountainside of Colorado Springs and uprooted hundreds of people. Lives were changed and though the fire is but a memory, the event itself has had repercussions that will stay with many for the rest of their lives.  This highlights the fact that events, good or bad, have a powerful influence over our lives.  Many people, when they are traumatized by an event, they do not know how to cope and begin to experience sleeplessness, loss of interest, anger, irritability and even depression.  Such a condition might be diagnosed as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  It is a disorder whose symptoms may not surface for months or even years. Yet when they do, it leaves individuals in a state of helplessness.  The emotions may come and go, but PTSD has a way of disrupting your life and leaving you feeling anxious and out of control.  Some may avoid public places or things that remind them of what happened, consider harming themselves, pull away from other people or turn to alcohol or drugs to “numb” the feelings. It is a condition that, if left alone, will consume them and rob them of growth and living.

If you have PTSD, it doesn’t mean that you have to live with it and allow it to ruin your life. In recent years, researchers around the world have dramatically increased their understanding of PTSD and how to treat it.  There is help available to you.  There are various paths you can take to healing.  First, you need to connect with a therapist that has experience treating PTSD.  They can provide a healthy context for understanding how you view the trauma and how to react to stressful memories. Second, you need to work with the therapist to help you understand the medicinal options available to you. There are a handful of treatments that can help you deal with the symptoms.  Finally, you need to adjust your lifestyle to help relieve PTSD symptoms.  That may include speaking with others that have experienced the trauma or reaching out to close friends or family members that can help provide support or treatment.

Tony Ferrara and the Happy Apple Farm have become an integral part of my family.  Though we have memories from each Fall visit, we do not hold on to just those memories.  Each year we make new ones.  We grow and live not in the past, but for the joy of making new memories to augment the old.  The power of events, particularly traumatic ones, cannot be understated but need to be placed in a context that is healthy.  Many times we are powerless in what events impact us.  However, we can take responsibility for the impact that power has over our future.  You can decide which events you want to mold your future and which ones you do not.  Take the first step.