Lately, our country has been hit by an onslaught of disasters. Devastating hurricanes, fires, tornadoes and earthquakes have left families homeless and without hope. The 24-7 media coverage almost forces you to relive the trauma daily. While watching a crisis on the television is emotional and difficult, what happens when that crisis hits home…within your family?
Perhaps one of your adult-children gets unnecessarily pregnant, a family member gets arrested, or commits suicide. How do the other family members cope with such crisis? Someone once said that you are either heading into a crisis, you are in the middle of one, or you are coming out of one. Crisis is part of the fabric of life and can turn a family unit upside down. It can be a devastating time for a family and requires family members to pull together.
Generally speaking, a Crisis is an unexpected event that impairs family strengths and weakens normal coping strategies. While each situation is different there are some general guidelines that can help you through those difficult days:
- Communication is absolutely necessary. Be calm and communicate in a respectful manner to one another. Checking in with one another on a consistent basis is a good thing.
- Exercise healthy boundaries and do not allow yourself to take on other individual’s trauma, burden or feelings.
- Be still and gather your thoughts. Impulsive actions or reactions can sometimes exacerbate a situation.
- Put the crisis event into perspective and focus on the positive. However painful the crisis is, it is another stage in a journey, a new “normal”. Pray for grace, acceptance and strength for each day.
- Utilize your support network. Reach out to those who know you and truly care for your well-being. That could be a wise friend, a spiritual advisor or another family member.
- Be patient. Take one second at a time, one minute at a time, and one day at a time. As time moves on you tend to become more accepting of the new “normal”.
- Do not play the blame game. This difficult season in your life is not the time to point fingers, it is a time of healing. Blaming others will only isolate family members and thwart any positive communication that is needed.
A family crisis can erode relationships and alienate members; however, it can also be an opportunity for growth and a means to draw a family closer together. How you mange through the crisis will determine your outcome.